I am about ready to cross that line, take the plunge into the territory all kids believe is “old”. Yes, I am turning 30 and and if one more male tells me not to worry about it, I might just do a little slap slap. Men keep their virility their whole lives, so I am pretty sure turning 30 is much different for my xy counterpart. And it doesn’t really help that the male I am married to is Filipino which means his skin is ageless and in T-10 years people will wonder if I robbed the cradle. Though I am younger, white does crack, and my snow white skin doesn’t stand a chance next to his flawless brown complexion.
I think I could be considered a professional hair-dye-by-the-boxer at this point. My mousy brown hair has never really justified presenting the truth so I have skillfully covered it on the cheap for long enough to question possible long term chemical effects. That’s fine, beauty takes maintenance but consider this my confessional room. Now that I am turning 30, I have noticed a devastating reality. I no longer buy cheap hair dye cause I want to. Now I have to. (collective gasp, please). My loving, caring, wonderful husband has pulled out gray hair on MORE than one occasion. The first time was easy denial. The second was annoyance. By the third time, I totally blamed him for finding them in the first place, since clearly they aren’t real if I don’t have to see them.
A news report I saw the other day said that women start losing bone density in their 30s which means I only have 7 days before I start the downhill slide toward a walker. Good thing I drink enough milk to justify keeping my own cow in the backyard. Hopefully my older self will someday thank me with strong healthy bones.
So I will head into my 30s with my stash of box hair dye, bins of wrinkle cream, drinking my milk by the gallon, all while arm in arm with my eternally youthful husband and a smile on my face – further cementing those character lines. Oh well, full steam ahead! I am going to slide into that finish line in 80 years with a body well used, making sure every wrinkle and gray hair were well earned along the way.
So in honor of 30 years, lets remember my youth.
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